Things To Do In Taylor When You're Gay

Two things about me- I'm gay, and I live in Taylor. Here's what I do in a day. 

I wake up at 8 AM, usually with a light buzz. I take a few shits, and drink 2 pots of coffee. I make a breakfast of eggs and toast and smoke a cigarette after eating. For you tobacco nuts, I smoke at least 2 packs of Benson & Hedges a week. For you booze nuts, I drink at LEAST 2 bottles of liquor a week- my drink of choice is Three Drunk Men In The Desert Hunting Turkey- which is Jim, Johnny, Jack, Tequila, and Wild Turkey. And for you health nuts, I am in poor health. 

I head into work at the library at 10 and stay until 6. During my day, I deal with usual Taylor citizens, work Toddler Story Time, and restock books. At the end of the day, I usually, walk home as I live somewhat close, but recently I've been driving. I bring a sandwich, a 40oz and a bag of sunbaked cheetos to work for my lunch on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, and I go out to eat on Wednesday. 

I go home, smoke a little herb, take 2 shits, and head out to the bars. Before Louie went missing, we agreed to an open marriage, so I usually pick up a few barely legals, and take them back to the pad. In the course of the night, I eat a dinner of seafood (all varieties)

I kick them out at midnight, have a nightcap, and head to sleep. And that's the work week. 

On Friday night, I get absolutely shithoused, and wake up inside an elderly Asian whore on Saturday at about 1. I artfully slip out, and head home. I go home, and sleep it off, waking up at about 10. When I rise, I take an ungodly number of aspirin, and eat a Philly Cheesesteak. After eating, I take 3 shits, and get to work on the nursery, where I'll work for 3 to 4 hours.  During my nursery work, I have a liquid lunch. Then, I head out to the bars (I like to start at strip clubs, and end up at the Rick's Halftime Bar- which I cannot recommend enough- where I can get a fuckton of beer, and a sober-up cheeseburger. 

Then, after yet again waking up with last night's mistake, I get to work. I clean and do yardwork until 11, when I go to the police station to petition the finding of my precious husband. I leave at about 3, when I go shopping, pick up dinner (usually pizza), and go to the liquor store to pick up next week's haul, and some cigarettes. At exactly 8pm, I have a self defense class, and at 9, I have an art class. At 10, I head home, and work on the blog, typing posts for shits and giggles. 

Well, that's what I do in a day. 

Xo, Bombus.